Coming from dating in high school to dating in college was a completely different transition. I went from asking my mother for permission to have company over to having “company” over whenever I wanted. Then graduation came and I was back home at square one. Since I was home, I had to switch my dating style up real quick. Here are some tips my friends and I have found useful:
Talk to Your Mom (And let her talk to You)
This is the most uncomfortable step, but it’s necessary. The conversation can be simple: “Mom, I’m interested in (or currently are) dating. Since I’m living under your roof, I want to talk about what that looks like, as well as the do’s and don’ts.” It’s important to talk about it so you can both be on the same page, especially if you’re living rent free. Your mom will most likely respect it, unless your mom (and dad) don’t play that. If that’s the case, this post isn’t for you.
Do you want to just have casual sex, date casually, or potentially get into a relationship? Once the intention is clear, it’s easier to figure out how to navigate dating while being at home.
Only Introduce Boyfriends and Girlfriends – Not Flings
This is a rule I’m steadfast with; if y’all are just dating or having sex, leave it at that. Parent should only be brought in when your relationship is getting serious. If you introduce your flings to your parents, how will they take your actual significant other seriously? It could potentially de-value your next relationship.
Communicate Your Living Situation with Your Partner
You don’t have to go into too much detail if you’re uncomfortable with it; however, let he or she know you’re living at home. This way if y’all are dating, or about to get into a relationship, you can figure out a plan for how many times a week that person can come over, where you feel comfortable spending your private time, and how many times you want to see each other throughout the week. This way you both can figure out if you both should continue to see each other.
Save Money for a Hotel
Contrary to popular belief, hotels aren’t just for prostitutes. It’s a great way to have uninterrupted private time where you can be as loud and as naked as you want to be. Since it’s hard out here for a young adult/recent grad, this is a good alternative; saving money for a hotel room once a month is a good goal. If you’re lucky, the person you’re dating will fit the bill.
Believe it or not, dating while you live at home can tell you more about the person you’re seeing than if you were living by yourself. If the person still wants to get to know you as you get on your feet, and is willing to work around your mom’s dating rules, he or she is a keeper.
Being open and honest with the person you’re dating during this time can teach you want you want, and what you don’t want in a partner. It can also bring you and your boo thing closer together.
What are your insights on dating while you’re at home? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.